so that wasnt chicken after all
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
