He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
