census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
zippers are such a cool invention
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
