The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
