Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
