Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
