Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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