I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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