his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
