Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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