Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
