There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
