so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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