is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
