im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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