I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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