I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
