People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I touched a dick in church today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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