Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How does one acquire holy water?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
