She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
