Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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