plz talk dirty to me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
