Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Everclear isn't food dammit
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think my moral compass just broke
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
