He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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