singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
