But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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