just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
