Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bring money and cleavage
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
