You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
