Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
