my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
