I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
