Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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