I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
