had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
