Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
