The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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