here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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