i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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