We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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