All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I fill condoms, not promises.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
