there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
