I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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