His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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