But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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