Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I touched a dick in church today
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
