Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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