"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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