there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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