Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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