new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
where am i from again
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
