ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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