he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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