Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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