you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
