i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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