that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
