I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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