I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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