do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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