I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
